Going downtown to shop in my city is always a risk: You risk running into crazies who think they know everything about your life and disability. And I absolutely hate this. Nobody knows anything more about my disability, than myself, except for maybe the best SCI physiatrist in the country. No one else! Nadie!

So, whilst perusing the soup aisle at the two-story Target today, (yes, we have a hella fancy Target) some lady offered to help me grab a can of soup. Ok, fair enough. “I’ll take your help,” I thought to myself, and I told her she could help me. “Maybe she needs an ego-boost, or maybe she wants to do her ‘good deed’ for the day,” I wondered. So I let her use me to get to that happy place she was obviously seeking. I’m cool like that, see?

After the helped me get a can of Cream of Mushroom soup for this homemade pot-pie I was making, she said under her breath, “My daughter got shot in the head;” her eyes were averted, looking down at the scuffed, tiled floor. I answered, “Oh, I’m sorry.” I mean, what do you say to that? She was beginning to register on the “crazy-lady” scale. No need to ask further questions. But no, she had to continue with her crazy-talk…there was no where to run either. It was 12 noon and all the lunch-folk were out strong in the store. Packed aisles.

She continued her babbling, telling me her daughter had survived and that she was “just like me.” “Just like me!?” I thought. “How can she be just like me, a C5-6 quad, if she got shot in the head??” A brain injury that causes paralysis is very different from an injury to the spinal cord. But, I looked her up and down. She looked poor, simple, uneducated. I don’t think she knew any better. So I held my tongue. No need to lash out at stupid people (Or is there a need? Still haven’t decided).

I guess to the average person I must look pretty messed-up and disabled. That’s my conclusion of the day. Well, at least to people who don’t know better I guess :/

Am I the only chic out there who needs to get at least mildly tipsy (red wine preferred; malbec even moreso) to let go of my paranoia and anxieties so I can go “over the rainbow” during sexorz?

I figure that wine is a safer and surer way to erase my anxieties instead of using anti-anxiety meds. But then again, anti-anxiety meds scare me shitless (no, I’m not a Scientologist. I can’t afford the Tec :).

I don’t mind being a wineo, though. Split three bottles with my boy last night. Yummy, yums, yums.

- Tiff

One of the best ways to look hella sexy from that wheelchair of yours is to bare your shoulders. Yup, that’s right…I’m talking about those slinky and sometimes sexy, off-the-shoulder tops. They’re great for holiday occasions, nighttime events, and of course, summertime.

We sometimes need a fresh viewpoint when deciding what areas of our bodies to accentuate from our chairs. It’s not easy. Lucky for you, I’m here to be that person for you.

While we sit, our chest, shoulders, and face are the first thing that catch people’s eyes. Knowing that, bare shoulders (and wearing your hair in a casual up-do along with the top) is a freakin’ great way to show the world that you still got it. You can’t show off the booty, you can’t strut like a supermodel, but you still CAN bare your shoulders and show some skin.

So go ahead and do it….bring out your inner sex-kitten!

- Tiff

It was in early 2003 when I discovered a passion of mine that had been lying in wait my entire life until it finally burst forward, exploding into my life after an electrifying small-venue concert: The Stereophonics at The Fine Line Music Cafe in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

It was an incredibly cold, late January night when we ventured out into the into the sub-zero temps to brave the dark, desolate streets, to find a parking spot for my accessible van. But we succeeded. Proof in itself that we were meant to make it to the show that night, -30 windchill and all. Once inside the bouncers ushered “the girl in a wheelchair” to the very front, right by stage (it was General admission, standing room only). They do this out of fear that the crowd might trample me at some point, staving off what would ultimately be a lawsuit by me on them (a nice “bonus” to having to use a wheelchair I guess). At least the concert “seats” are good.

Anyways, back to the show. This unknown-in-the-US-but-widely-known-in-the-UK moody rock band began their set and I was instantly hooked. They started with “Alcoholic” (one of their best known songs), and everyone in the crowd began singing along. A huge wave of energy I had never experienced before filled the room, and I was floating on air: The loud, pitch-perfect sound system, the ecstatic crowd, the hoots and hollers and the clapping; it was all just out-of-body and I was taken, up, up, and away, out of my wheelchair, forgetting for those amazing 90 minutes that I was even disabled.

Needless to say, since that fateful show in early 2003, I’ve been to dozens of shows since and have even seen my idol - David Bowie - live TWICE during his “Reality” tour. In fact, it’s Saturday today and tonight I’ll be heading out - once again - to the mystical Fine Line venue for “Glitter Ball,” a ’70s Glam Rock tribute with 100% of its proceeds going to the Minnesota AIDS Project.

Lucky for me, the concerts never stop. And I’ll never stop going.

I know it’s been discussed by hundreds of other dis-folks before on plenty of other dis-sites, but I just gotta say how much I think “Timmy” (and “Jimmy”) on South Park rules from a disabled person’s perspective; not only for being hysterically funny (making fun of oneself can provide the greatest of laughs), but also how it shows AB kids interacting and being friends with a disabled kid and not making a big deal out of it.

See, they show it without pointing it out and this subtle “non-highlighting the obvious politically correct goings-on” decision has done a lot I believe, in helping AB’s (of all ages) to stop freaking out what others may think if they decide to chillax with a disabled person. Heck, South Park has possibly even made it look cool in certain circles. Ha! The irony!

Famed actress with CP (Cerebral Palsy), Geri Jewell (from “Facts of Life” and “Deadwood”), is rumored to be the inspiration for these characters, but I’m not sure if Matt and Trey have fessed-up to this. But that’s besides the point. The REAL point is that through humor, changes in how we’re accepted can be made, which will hopefully carry on to future generations.

What’s more empowering than making fun of yourself before someone else gets a chance? By doing this, you’re both empowering and enchanting yourself to all the ABs in this AB world. Heck, Conan O’Brien is the MASTER at this. He’s always the first to poke fun at his crazy, uncontrollable red bouffant or his pasty white skin.

So with “Timmy,” the creators of South Park lovingly and adoringly poke fun at “Timmy,” usually by showing comical things that are related to his disability (like with he joined the “Crips”): There’s so much humor in a little boy with CP joining one of the deadliest gangs in the country, I don’t even know where to begin.

I’ll leave you with a most excellently funny link to a “Timmy” YouTube video:  “Timmy on his best.”

So the masses assume that we - SCI females - can’t feel sex. That we can’t enjoy it. That we can’t have babies. That we’re asexual and attractive. That we’re uninterested in any sexual activity.

I’ll be honest. With some SCI ladies, this IS the case. They think sex is pointless. They have zero sex-drive. They had a hysterectomy to make their cares easier. And they hate how they look.

Myself and thousands of other SCI women however have embraced our sexuality and we celebrate our bodies, wheelchair, damaged spinal cord, and all. When it comes to the big “O,” we too want to climax by any means possible. Clitorial orgasms can’t usually happen for us, but G-spot “O’s” can still be plentiful. The problematic part? Doctors and researchers haven’t thoroughly looked into this field of sexuality, so not much is known about our mysterious bodies. One study was done in the mid’-90s regarding SCI women and orgasms (using tampons no less! LOL!), but it was too small to be of any use.

What we base the truth of G-Spot orgams in SCI females on then, is from stories and vignettes that are written by SCI females online; little truthitudes put out there for the whole world to see. Many report that with the right mental stimulation, a glass of red wine (ha), and a sufficent phallus, enjoyment from sex is still possible whether or not they have a incomplete or complete injury.

So with that said, I hope this post satisfies your curiosity or proves you wrong about a stereotype that you may have been holding against me and my girls

Many of us still like sex goddamnit! Get used to it!

- Tiff

Andy = The dumbass in the wheelchair.

Lou = The dumbass PCA.

It’s a lot like Dumb and Dumber (as in “the blind leading the blind”), but the kicker? Andy can really walk and Lou is too dense to figure it out. Ha.

It’s classic British humor, courtesy of the hit comedy sketch show on the BBC: Little Britain

I absolutely LOVE this skit and thanks to YouTube, I can get my Lou and Andy fill anytime I want

Just to show you how great it is, check out my favorite Lou and Andy episode: Lou brings his friend Andy to the swimming pool…

- Tiff

Lower your calorie intake, girls.

That’s how I stay thin, and I haven’t walked in 14+ years. I try not to eat mre than 1300 calories a day, and so far it’s worked. I haven’t become that “overweight” chic in a chair. I eat lots of small snacks during the day (no big meals), I drink coffee every morning, don’t smoke, don’t drink pop, and try to eat as little processed food as possible.

Here’s a great site - Hungry Girl - to give you the latest food/health trends out there.

- Tiff

Ever have that WTF moment (especially when you first wake up), where you simply can’t believe you’re in a wheelchair? It’s been 14 years since my accident, and I’ve been getting that feeling more and more lately…

It’s annoying and surreal. Just when you think you’ve gotten used to your condition, there goes your brain again, screwing up your coveted peace of mind.

Why in the hell is this happening to me so late in the game?? Anyone, anyone? Somebody help a sister!

- Tiff

There’s nothing that makes me giddier than gorgeously unique jewelry, that’s also cheap. And 1928 Jewelry fits the bill.

Just check out their Manor House Beaded Drop Earrings (pic to the left) for $26.00. With their Victorian-look, paired with ”simulated” amethyst and pearl (which help create the dropped-effect), make these babies look like they’re genuine antique jewelry that’s worth 4x the amount.

Have fun browsing! Their jewelry is simply gush-worthy.

- Tiff