You gotta thank the wars our country has had for something: They’ve always helped disability rights. Why? Because disabled vets are a force to be reckoned with, and are once again changing the way society looks at disability. They’re bull-headed men/women who still want to live!

Look at WWII: It was because of those vets that adapted sports, better wheelchairs, the idea of independent living, etc, came to being. And in this fantastic article by FOX News (I can’t believe I’m pimping FOX News out. Help me God), Iraq vets are specifically making sexuality AND disability intertwined and a subject that has got the media talking. Check it out:

FOXSexpert: Can Disability Be Sexy? You Bet!

I specifically like this quote: “When most people think ’sexy,’ they don’t think disabled. Yet people with disabilities can be very sexual — much more than we give them credit for. Consider, for example, that some women with complete spinal cord injury experience orgasm.”

So, does this finally mean that AB guys no longer need to feel like they’re a perv if they find me sexy?

- Tiff

Sometimes a picture can make even me, this tough SCI beeyotoch, tear up.

And this is one of them.

Paul, the devoted hubby of Kelly (a fierce and sexy blonde para, who I’m honored to call a friend. They live together on base in North Carolina), finally returned to the States today after serving in the “hell hole” that is Afghanistan for over 12 months.

He serves in the Army as an Executive Officer of a parachuting Batallion (a pretty James Bond-esque job, which’s he’s honored to do), but this poor couple (who were legally married right before he left) have been missing each other like crazy. Not surprising, his sexy lady and New Castle beer topped his list as the things he’s missed most.

Their “official” wedding will be in June down in Fort Bragg. I REALLY hope to make it (PCA and plane ticket expenses, from Minneapolis, withstanding of course).

They did, after all, meet on this site through the message boards. So I REALLY want to go.

Congrats Paul & Kelly! So glad you’re finally reunited!

Have lots and lots of sex for me, ok? LOL

- Tiff

As I promised a few weeks ago (to the sassy, ex-Ms. Wheelchair of Minnesota), here are my official suggestions for the best way to pick up the beautiful men of Minneapolis, or the beautiful men of <insert your city here>.

Rule #1: Cleavage rules. Men are pervy animals when you get down to it, and the best way in the beginning at least to grab their attention (on that street corner or that carpeted skyway), is to show them the goods (and believe me, the boobs are magical).

Rule #2: Smile! A smile is the second best way to invite a man to approach you, disabled, wheelchair-using, or no. Just flash them that groovy smile of yours and see what happens. In my experience, I will at least get a “Hello.” And hell, with a smokin’ guy who could get any two-legger he wanted, this is saying something.

Rule #3: Ok, I already covered boobs and a smile? What else is there? Flashing them your nipples? Yelling your cell number at them? Pretending you need help? (kidding)

Seriously though, the main rule of thumb is to just be as approachable as possible. If that involves channeling “approachable vibes” so the hottie in question notices ya, then do it. I’ve always found too that sporting the natural look (no makeup, un-blowdried hair), and if you can do it subtlety (no bra) works like a charm too (does that make me a slut?).

You see, approaching the sexy “girl next door” is WAY easier than approaching some dolled-up bombshell.

Ok guys…was there anything I missed? Meeting guys on the fly is NOT easy.

- Tiff

Back in 2007 when I was livin’ it up as a crazed 20 something, single girl, I would go to the clubs of my fair city quite often. What can I say? It’s a great way to let off some steam, dance (yes people in wheelchairs can dance), and meet men….or at least I thought so. After several oh-my-god-annoying incidents, I decided to make a new rule for myself: Stay away from the drunk losers at the clubs! 

Now why you may ask? It’s simple: They’re out of their mind hornballs who are NOT THEMSELVES. As they say, what you do drunk, you’re likely never to do sober, and oh baby, this is so true. Let me play out the scenario for you: “Hey you’re hot,” says the drunk guy to yours truly. I’m drunk at the time too and take his compliment seriously. I smile. Encouraged, he asks for my number. We chat up, he buys me a few drinks, and we part ways with a sexy kiss. So what’s wrong here? The next day, week, month, he never calls you back.

What I can guess is that after he’s sober, he became embarrassed: “Oh my God I hit on a woman in a wheelchair, and I’m going to Hell!”  His feelings were never real, he’s not the kind of guy open-minded enough to date a disabled woman, and essentially…he’s wasted your time; truly and completely. So I’ve learned the hard way to never, ever, ever take these men seriously. In fact, stay far, far away!

Even better yet, buy a roufee and drug them. Kidding…

- Tiff

One of my worries (and I assure you; I have many) in regards to dating with a disability, is whether or not predatory men see me as an “easy target.” Do I reek of desperation? Does the sight of my chair make the a-holes of this world think I have no standards? I mean, it’s a legitamate worry. And if you really want to know the truth, my anxieties are based on actual circumstances that really happened to me over the years.  

I think waiting to trust is a good rule of thumb anyways with any type of dating escapade. Actions will always speak MUCH louder than words. And the truth will eventally reveal itself.

Be careful ladies. Sleazy men are EVERYWHERE.

- Tiff