Not only does coffee help women live longer in they drink it (antioxidants!)…

…but it can also be the highlight of your day, if you’re not getting laid, drinking booze, winning the lottery, or if it’s not pay day that is.

I present to you my latest weakness:

International Delight’s Marshmallow Mocha Creamer

This creamer is like, utterly and completely the BEST CREAMER ever invented. It turns my boring cup of java into an overflowing chocolate waterfall straight from Willy Wonka’s f’ed up mind.

- Tiff

PS. What’s makes marshmallows and mocha so “international?”

Target is selling “vintage” Bowie shirts at the moment!

We should all go and buy one and wear them across the nation, to attempt a resurgence of the 1970’s Bowie era.

Imagine, kids on city street corners wearing glittery makeup, platform boots, and feather boas in broad daylight.

That would make me very happy.

- Tiff

I know, I know….my whole “Target Buy of the Week” series hasn’t exactly been a weekly thing. My apologies for that. My freelancing career has been going stronger than ever, so my leisurely visits to Target have been far and few between <insert Tiff’s whiney whine here>

But alas! I’ve found a Target-based blogworthy product recently. And even better, it’s getting posted today - a Monday - the most respectable day of the week (or so says Wall Street).

Sonia Kashuk’s Nylon No. 15 Foundation Brush for $9.99 is a VERY, very wise purchase, ladies. Why you ask? Well, here you go:

- Sponges are a shitty way to apply foundation. Sponges soak up your foundation and essentially waste your makeup, requiring you to buy more of your favorite (and expensive) foundation before you should really have to. And they’re bacteria-ridden! Ew.

- Same with the fingers. Applying foundation with your fingers/skin is not only hard to do (not even pro’s can do it this way), you’re foundation won’t go on smooth and will be cakey in various spots throughout your face. Definitely not a sexy look. Men hate cakey foundation. 

See, I use MAC’s liquid foundation ($20+/bottle) and I’ve found this cheap nylon foundation brush to be a boon to my makeup regimen. It seriously glides on my foundation like the most silkiest pair of stockings imaginable, and it’s only $9.99?! Do you realize at MAC, or at any other high-end makeup store, you’d be paying at least twice that amount?

This brush is so full of “win” I don’t even know where to begin…go buy it!

- Tiff

This is official gay-pride bikini, people! Composed of stripes from every color in the ranbow and fashioned with sexy old rings (the bandeau-version; not pictured), this rainbow bikini will definitely get you noticed by the gay boys and hottie straight men alike.

$14.99 for each piece

Get your size now before the cheapo fashionistas beat you to it!

You know…I’m impressed. Way to go Target buyers. It seems that with each passing year, their swimsuit collection has gotten exponentially better. As I checked out all of their new suits today, I honestly couldn’t decide which one I liked best. There were too many to choose from. From the Space-Dye Swimwear Set to their Eyelet Triangle Swim Top, their sexified sunbathing options are endless.

And if you’re wondering how a girl in a wheelchair pulls off a bikini, easy; I just stop eating between April - June.  No seriously, my body has never and will never be “bikini perfect,” but I don’t care. My quad gut has yet to manifest it’s uglyself. So…I’m going to enjoy it this semi-ok bod while it lasts.

- Tiff

Channel Mariah Carey from Cribs (remember her extensive pink babydoll collection in her NYC condo? Crazy, yet impressive…), and head on down to Target for…

Tiff’s Target Buy of the Week! (a new weekly blog series)

This week I’m featuring the new line of babydolls by Gillian & O’Malley, which Target is selling for V-Day. I came across this “Young Pink” chiffon babydoll for $19.99 yesterday afternoon, and my inner-girly girl nearly peed her pants. For shiz.

Impulse-buy forthwith!

So of course, I wore it to bed last night and was even MORE pleased with it. Why? It fit my fake boobs (yes, I have implants) like a glove! And let me say right now, that that’s not an easy task….

With the light-as-air like pink chiffon ruffles sitting on my lap like a perfectly frosted cake, and the tiny pink bows pressed up against my bosom like a festoon of hungry leeches….it felt like it was custom-made (did I mention it comes with a matching pink chiffon thong?!). I felt like Marie Antoinette at her most decadent.

I bought a small. Sometimes tight ‘n snug is a million times better than roomy. And I think most straight men would agree

- Tiff

Lindt’s Petit Desserts for $7.99!

Target is selling the exact same box that’s offered on Lindt’s website for less than half the price ($7.99 vs $20.00). This is a deal that no chochoholic can ignore.

The box has these awesome little “faux” desserts, with everything from lemon tarts and creme brulees to tiramisus and macaroons; a seriously wicked box of chocolates.

Wheelchair life getting you down? Pissed that Britney is such a waste of space? Stressed about Barack’s chances?

Eat a Petit Dessert chocolate. It’ll help. I promise.

- Tiff