LOL @ every guy reading this

(a bit of real-life reality on this blog for once)

To all my exes, stalkers, haters, and so on: It’s easy to love/hate me (I’m like Obama). If you did me wrong, no worries, I forgive you, but that doesn’t mean I’ll like you. Life is beautiful, and your hurt has made me better than I ever was. And while it makes me sad to think how you scared me, disrepected me, or treated me with disregard….I’ve been through much worse. Being dead for four minutes dead kinda does that to a person <off podium>.

– The mouthy girl in the wheelchair

Musical show and tell

I need to starting posting good music again! Here’s a funky song by definitive hip-hop group, Blackalicious, that I listen to whenever I feel the need for an infusion of swagger (and yes, it totes works).

Jeggings: The most slimming jean you’ll ever buy

Well folks, I’ve been enlightened by the fashion Gods as of late. It all started with celeb photos on Perez Hilton, with me coveting the skinny ass stars in their glove-tight skinny ass jeans, and then it dawned on me: THEY ARE NOT WEARING SKINNY JEANS. It was a trick. What these trendy gals were wearing were in fact Jeggings, the latest greatest garment to hit the clothing world since the Miracle Bra.

Jeggings debuted last summer and are leggings masquerading as jeans. They have a jean print, come in several washes and colors, and some even have faux pockets and a real button-fly. BUT DON’T BE FOOLED. They are leggings through and through and will be the most comfortable pair of jeans (if you want to call them that) you’ll ever buy, and they look great on plus-sizes too. They are incredibly slimming and since they’re stretchy as hell, they hit every curve of whatever body they’re put on, whether you have too-skinny legs….or the opposite.

As a woman who uses a wheelchair, finding truly fabulous jeans that look good (read: do not make me look fat or make it look like I have a penis by fabric bunching in the crotch-area while I’m sitting) has been so hard, and such a waste of money. I had actually given up on finding a decent pair of jeans years ago, and instead usually just wear black leggings or a skirt. All of my friends can attest to Tiff never wearing jeans. But that all changed in the past week.

After discovering the existence of Jeggings 10 days ago, I started my search online to procure a pair. I checked out the Express, who were asking $50 for a pair of Jeggings. FAIL. Instead, I found two awesome pairs of denim leggings (one is cropped, one pair is ankle length with a cool ‘80s acid wash) at Herberger’s at $9.99/pair. Do your shopping homework, people. Always look online first before wasting gas driving anywhere.

Jeggings are the future of jeans. And remember – wear a long top/short dress with your Jeggings (never anything shorter), as Jeggings tend to be tighter in the crotch area than a regular pair of jeans.